
“They say people like us, you know, lifestyle gamblers, are as much kin to sharks as anything else. I for one find that such an uncreative comparison, and does very little to capture any nuance. Have you ever seen a shark bluff? Or read the other players at the table to find out which one is really hurting for a win, and which one is keeping it uncharacteristically cool despite what you must figure has to be a good hand they’re hiding? No sir, sharks are all about biting off hunks of whatever they caught up with and basically being swimming vacuum cleaners when there’s food available for them.”
(James Kopecky is a circuit gambler, one of the bizarre crew of the Also-Rans. He’s answering this one, so imagine him swirling a cocktail with a flourish as he regales us)
“You ever watch crows line up on garbage day over a neighborhood? They always seem to show up when the trash goes out; maybe they keep a sentry out or maybe they just fly over neighborhoods till they spot what they’re hunting for, but in my estimation, they are much smarter about patterns and potential than simply showing up and hoping to get lucky. What’s more, they always seem to know which cans have the best scraps in them, or which house doesn’t seem to mind if they help themselves to the leftovers. It sure does seem to pay off that they have a mind for detail; they could busy themselves hunting for something else to eat, but if they could just pick up on a few key details about their world, they can eat like kings and not have to do all that much for it.”
“There’s one more thing I happen to like about crows. They tend to let one another know that something’s going down that benefits the lot of them. Somebody is going to be sitting on a roof, cawing their head off before they all swoop down to tear into whatever the homeowners didn’t rightly see fit to keep around. If they don’t know what’s set out for their breakfast, then how will they know if they’re inviting too many cousins and strangers to split the pot? Yet there they go, telling everybody about the great haul they’ve done located, as if to boast that they don’t even need this food, but they figured those poor birds that are down on their luck, might need the repast.”
“There’s a certain style you have to maintain. Even if you need a win bad and your pocket is decidedly empty of surplus coinage, it is always better to dress and act like you don’t really mind one way or the other. I’ve never seen a shark pull off the apex predator without a care in the world look. I’ve seen plenty of crows pull off the affable scrounger look with a huge amount of panache. If you live by your wits and look like you’re living large, even when you aren’t, you could be called a lot worse than a crow.”
Like what you’ve read so far? Maybe read some more, as I’m working on a video game/book hybrid, so you can, like, play games and hear a funny story.






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